Angel in the Suffocating Black
by UniqueLikeEveroneElse
Summary: Bella is in a world where she feels worthless and she goes to her dreams to save herself. Will her dreams come true? Or will she forever be surrounded by that horrible suffocating black? Are they fictonal or are they real? Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first Fan Fiction! So I hope you enjoy it - I know it's short..._

Angel in the Suffocating Black

I lie in my bed, again. Tear tracks down my cheeks, again. Bruises covering my body, again. Wishing to disappear, become invisible, again. And again, I let sleep take me and run to my saviour in my dreams.

"_Edward! Edward! Where are you?" I scream, "I need you! It's happened again," my voice breaks then, "again..." I whisper._

_Warm arms encircle me._

"_It's okay beautiful, I'm here, you're safe. No one's going to hurt you."_

_I cling to his plain, white t-shirt and sob into his collarbone. He's here, like always. Here for me and me only._

_I look up at him and marvel at my angel, my saviour. His bronze hair is ruffled and his deep, amazing, emerald eyes are staring into mine. My saviour._

The dream doesn't last long. My alarm clock wakes me up for another day of hell. Another day of wishing you were invisible. Wrapping your arms around you to hold yourself in. One world of a never ending, black, rain, forever being broken.

I get up and put on jeans, a black long-sleeved skivvy to cover up the purple hand prints that cover my worthless body; not my face though, he is too careful.

I walk to school after having breakfast and collecting my lunch, books and bags. Taking in the cold winter air, deserving it.

School drifts on. Like one massive blur. I focus on my grades knowing that that is the best I can do. I go into my trance like state.

Then, again. I lie on my bed, again. Warm arms around me and crying into a plain white t-shirt.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Months pass. The same routine, the same blackness suffocating me. Although, last night was different. It had spiralled out of control. He wasn't careful. This time my saviour wasn't there replacing him with a nightmare, I struggled through my sleep.

I was walking to my locker when I came front on to the chest of a plain, white t-shirt. I look up to quickly apologise and get out of this persons way. Don't attract attention, don't anger anyone. Instead, I see _his_ deep, amazing, emerald eyes and bronze ruffled hair.

"You weren't there last night," I whisper. I feel warm arms encircle me as the black overtakes me.

I wake up to find myself lying on an uncomfortable bed with a drip attached to my arm and another tube leading to a bag of blood. I wanted to rip out that tube and bleed to death right there. My fingers were slowly curling around it when the door to my ward opened up.

A doctor in a white lab coat walked in. "No you don't." I glared at him and placed my hand beside my body.

"I'm Doctor Nicholson and I'll be taking care of you. Now if it is alright I would like to talk to you." He said softly.

I nodded, that's all I could do. If _he_ found out then- I couldn't finish my thought.

"Miss..." he looked at me, his eyebrow cocked.

"Call me Bella." I stated. I really didn't want to go into personal details with this man, even though that's exactly what he wanted. I know he has seen the bruises.

"Well Bella, you are a very lucky girl, if it wasn't for the very nervous young man waiting in the hall you wouldn't be with us today," who's waiting in the hall? "You seem to have attained some serious injuries. You have four broken ribs, some mending and other fresh; internal bleeding; a broken jaw; and severe bruising covering your body, again, some fresh and others old." Wow. I didn't know that he had injured me that bad; sure it hurt but, wow. "There is another point that I want to talk to you about," oh great, here it comes, "on your back there are some scars that are recovering from some deep cuts caused by a knife. They form the worlds: 'or else.' Now, Bella, if this is a case of abuse or you are doing this to yourself, I can't tell anyone due to patience confidentiality but through your permission I can report this to the police."

He waited for my reply, anger was bubbling in me, I couldn't control it, "ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!" the doctor's eyes widened and his mouth fell open into a small 'o.' "Use your brain, you _are_ a doctor! How could I write on my back with a knife?" he looked really scared, I almost felt sorry for him but I wasn't finished with my rant. "Secondly! What do the words say again? OR ELSE! What do you think that implies? I don't know, maybe it means... don't tell anyone _OR ELSE_ I'LL KILL YOU!" My chest was heaving in and out. He looked really uncomfortable. As I was about to give him more verbal lashing, my past and presence was taking over, another doctor walked in.

"I think I should take it from here Mr Nicholson." He had caramel eyes with blonde hair that had a tint of caramel in it. He looked way too young to be a doctor, but I suppose they judge on your talent not age.

"Well Bella, I'll just leave you to be, you have an anxious visitor that's waiting for you," with that he quickly exited, almost bumping into the door with the rush. I glared at him, mentally burning a hole in his back.

"I am very sorry for that Miss Swan, he's not as experienced as a doctor should be," the other doctor said, "all he was trying to say is that we are here if you need us and we can make calls to the police if you want, but obviously you don't want that, it's also quite obvious that you didn't do this to yourself – except for one scar, I do believe that is self applied, but it is old."

I just sat there quietly. "And for future reference, my name is Doctor Cullen and if you need me you know where to find me."

With that he left. The door closed behind him and I heard a muffled _"You may see her now, son, but she seems a little bit distressed so be careful of what you say and bring up."_ Someone wants to see me?

Then I heard a muffled reply, I thought I recognised the voice, although I have never heard it before,_ "I understand Doctor, but no matter how angry she is I just want to check on her make sure she is okay,"_ What? _Edward?_ It couldn't be- it's impossible.

As I was about to come up with a reasonable answer, two deep, amazing, emerald eyes looked into the room followed by the rest of the body.

"Bella, am I correct?" NO WAY! It was _his_ eyes, _his_ hair, _his_ t-shirt. It was _him_.

I nodded, "Don't you know me?"

"No I'm sorry, I just moved here..." I was right, how stupid of me to think that the man in my dreams would come to me in real life and all would be good. No it's too good. Too good for me, worthless me. My father beating me up is nothing compared to this, the heart wrenching feeling, I know too well not to get into these things I just end up in a worse situation.

"Of course you don't, no one does. Why are you here anyway," my stare was cold.

He faulted underneath it, "I-I just w-wanted to check that you were ok."

"I'm serious, why are you here? Do you want to make my life worse? Well I don't think you can do that, it's worse than you think so you can leave then," I pointed to the door revealing the scar on my wrist.

_I didn't want to die, I just wanted to bleed. I wanted to relieve some of the pain that is boiling in my blood. The knife sliced diagonally through my wrist. Maybe I did want to kill myself – it would make things a lot easier, I would get away from this mess out of here. My ticket to freedom. My soul has already been smashed into pitiful little pieces. Maybe they would mend when I die? Maybe my soul would smile and laugh for the first time. I watched the blood trickle onto my palm, filling the creases. Maybe I would find my heart on the way to whatever there is in the world of the dead. Reincarnation? Heaven? Hell? The Underworld? Maybe I would find out? Maybe it will be worse... Maybe I'll be a lost soul, floating around in nothing... Maybe all there will be is the suffocating black that already clouds my life... Maybe I'll have to face demons worse than the ones that already haunt my life... I couldn't do it. I grabbed a tea towel and placed over the cut to stop the bleeding. Surprisingly enough I didn't feel the pain, I was numb. Forever to be._

"Bella... What's that on your wrist?"

I tried to hide it but he grabbed it gently and held it front and centre.

"Ok, I cut myself. Who cares? No one because I am NO BODY! Get that in your head no one cares for me ok?"

He shook his head, "I care..." he whispered.

Yeah, see, he doesn't care... wait, WHAT?

"What?"

He gained his courage and his eyes seemed to blaze, the emerald seemed to darken, "I care! I don't know why I'm saying this but I _CARE_! I know I only met you a few hours ago but I can't seem to let you suffer! Don't ask me _why_ or _how_ I know this but I DO, I care... I care for you..." he trailed off at the end staring into my eyes as if he could see my soul. I stared back, I couldn't look away.

"You don't understand, no one does, if you do, you're considered to be... I don't know the exact words but, if you care for me there goes your social life right out the window because that's all people seem to care about!"

"I don't care about them, I told you I care about you. They can say what they want to say. I know what's come out of my mouth, my intensions, what's going on in my mind and what I am doing. They only know half of that! The other half, which they don't know, they make up and it's complete crap!

Look let's just start from the beginning. My name is Edward Anthony Masen," he said his name with pride, "I just moved here with my mother and father."

He just asked me to trust him and I can't get close to somebody but yet I couldn't deny his offer, before I could even stop myself I looked into his eyes and the words just came out, "My name is Isabella Marie Swan and I have lived my horrible life here for the whole time."


	3. Chapter 3

**Do not fret my friends, all will be explained in due time I know that the story is a little... wacko but you will understand it eventually, HOPEFULLY. Sorry for the late updates, I'm a slow writer; I don't know how all you other writers do it. In the mean time... Edward cares for Bella, huh? Now she doesn't know what to think! Oh (I **_**almost**_** forgot), I have finally decided to make them non-vampires! But be wary I might have a sudden change in mind like make him a half-blood thingy. Seriously – BE WARY. (Note: you may have noticed that I use the word 'again' a lot; well that's because I'm trying to get the point through that Bella's life has never changed, well the negative things haven't. Well, yeah, it's just the same old routine and subconsciously she knows it.)**

**xoxo**

_Ever since Bella had met Edward at the hospital, the dreams didn't come. Bella was starting to wonder if Edward really did care for her, her faith was... falling. If she ever did have some, she thought._

_She had another horrible torture the night that she came back and went to bed sobbing hoping that Edward would come for her, save her. But he wasn't there. He left her, deserted her. She awoke feeling colder and even lonelier than she thought she could ever feel._

I got out of bed and did my usual routine before stepping out in to the cold winter air. I focused on the music that was quietly playing in the background, letting one foot fall after the other to the rhythms that weaved their way through the music. Classical music is the only thing that ever makes me feel at home.

"_Mum, do you know where my socks for school are?" I tapped my mum on the shoulder trying to get her out of her trance. She was gently swaying to the music and humming the words._

"_Oh, honey. Stop Worrying, we'll find them later. Dance with me," with that she took me into her arms and I immediately felt safe._

Thinking about my mother always made me feel slightly happier. I loved her so much even though she left me. I knew she loved me too, but it just hurt immensely.

As I was about to walk into the school, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, are glad you to be out of the hospital?" A silky voice asked me, that I knew all too well.

"Honestly Edward, cut the act. You know that everybody is going to see you so go away and hang out with your friends," my stare was cold and again he flinched under it. I felt a twinge of guilt in the pit of my stomach; it was a small but sickening feeling.

I was right, well for some of my point. At that moment we entered the school gates. Every single eye turned onto _us_. I stopped walking. I could hear the whispers; feel the hate coming of every glare. As if they were sticking their hands into my gut and pulling and twisting until I finally gave up and begged for mercy.

Edward turned around, his beautiful eyes filled with an intense emotion that I could just not place.

My eyes were filling up with tears. I had never had this much attention on me.

_Focus on the music, focus on the music_. I chanted in my head

"Shh, Bella don't cry. It's okay. Look at me," his hands willed my chin to come up. I looked into his emerald green eyes and almost lost myself.

"W-why do th-they hate me Ed-w-ward?" I never cried but this I couldn't control. Every tear that fell down my cheek Edward wiped away with his thumb, carefully and gently.

He placed his hands on the side of my face and said, "Bella we are going to get through this, just trust me okay, I'll be there for you."

"How do I know that I can trust you?" I looked at him with pleading eyes; silently begging him not to hurt me like everyone else has that I have let into my life.

"Just trust me okay. Don't question it, feel it." I could hear the sincerity in his voice. He held out his hand and gingerly, I took it, revelling in the warmth as soon and his strong hands covered mine. It was a different feeling.

He turned around. Everybody was just standing there watching the exchange we had just had. Again I heard the whispers, felt the hatred. I was about to turn and run when I felt Edward's arm snake its way around my waist and pull me close to his side.

I helplessly melted into the side of him. I pressed my face into his chest and listened to the soft sway of the music, humming to myself. We started walking.

"Is that Claire de Lune?" Edward softly asked me after a while._ We were almost inside._

"You know Debussy?" I asked pulling my head away from his chest and looked up at him. _Don't look away from him focus on his face, those wonderful, luscious green eyes._ I instantly felt calmer.

"I love classic music. I play the piano," his eyes seemed to warm with that statement.

I put my head back into his chest; I liked the feel of it. I felt safe, I could feel the slight tone of his chest and his arms securely held me into place. It wasn't this good in my dreams. _No way, definitely not._

We fell into a comfortable silence after that, nothing more needed to be said.

Thankfully out of the six classes that I had today Edward was in four of them. The other one was a free, which Edward had too, surprisingly. That was last class which meant we could leave school early since we were in year twelve **(I'm Australian)**. The first four classes everybody was staring at us but eventually they went back and did their work realising that nothing was going to happen.

Now Edward was walking me to the fifth class, with his hand on the small back. I was hugging my books to my chest hoping that he wouldn't notice the blush on my cheeks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry if there are some super horrible mistakes in the story, my account won't let me change the content in my chapters and I don't want to have to reload the chapters again, so yeah... grrr... Also sorry if the chapters are a little short, I try ok? I try... Thanks for reading my story!**

**Xoxo**

There was a bunch of girls at our school that I avoided; Lauren Mallory, Jessica Stanley and Tanya Denali.

I just ran out of the classroom, I could hear them laughing _at me_. I stuffed my books in to my bag and left them at my locker. Then I turned around and headed for the exit.

For some reason our school is next to a large, deserted paddock with long unruly grass growing to my shoulders.

When I saw the paddock I picked up my pace and sprinted to the middle of the great field. When I got there I simply fell to my knees and let the unshed tears fall.

"_So Izzy, how come Edwards likes you so much?" Jessica asked with a glare._

_I shrugged not knowing the answer myself. I put my head down and looked at my work, trying to block out the high pitched giggles._

"_She's so totally a charity case!" Lauren giggled back._

"_Oh my god! That's like so nice of Edward," Tanya shrieked back._

_I could feel my stomach turning with every word._

"_Class, settle down," Mr Harkins sternly warned._

"_Maybe she's pregnant," whispered Tanya staring directly at me._

"WHY DOES EVERYBODY HATE ME?!" I yelled to no one. I could feel the suffocating black closing in on my heart.

"I don't hate you," a soft voice stated, it was timid but it rang clear throughout the small space. I couldn't turn around, I had let my guard down.

"Why are you even here? I've only known you for a week!"

"Why do you keep on doing this? Why can't you let me in?" he said with a hurt look in his eyes.

"Edward if you knew what I had been through in my life you wouldn't even bother asking that question, I'm sure you wouldn't even want to know me," I took a deep breath, "every one that I have let into my life has hurt me, to an extent that now I have a hole in my heart; this suffocating black that surrounds me, like a fog that won't go away!"

"I would never do that Bella, hurting you would hurt me to, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"That's what my mother said!"

"What? This has nothing to do with your mother!"

"Shut up Edward. SHUT UP! You don't know ANYTHING!" how could he?

"You're right, I don't but if you just let me in and trusted me I would know my place. I've been through hell too Bella, you're not alone."

"I've been through so much more _shit_ than you have Edward, don't even try to compare yourself!" There was fire in my voice as I spat the words at him, "don't do this to me Edward I don't want to have to make this choice. I don't want to have more hell in my life, I don't want you to disappear or slip through my fingers or change because I'll know that it is all because of me, I let you in. Like my mum, Jacob and Charlie..." **(I know something you don't!)** I was pleading; I was begging him not to make me do this.

"Bella, that's what I mean. I don't want to lose you as well. I _will_ lose you don't trust me, if I can't help you. I don't want to go the rest of my life knowing that I could have done something! Listen to me Bella, you CAN trust me, and I will be there! Even if it means that I have to travel across the seven seas, I'll do it; so that you're safe." His eyes were so intense. I swear I could see a green fire glowing in them; I had never seen something like it before, it was never like this in my dreams.

"Edward I need to think this over," with that I turned around and left.

When I got into my car I looked at the time, it was five o'clock. I was late. I hadn't made dinner. I hadn't done the laundry. I hadn't changed the sheets.

**Yes I know this chapter is short but I know exactly what I'm going to write for the next one!**

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**I just realised that I said **_**"When I got into my car"**_** I meant to say when I got to my bag OOOPS – see what I mean with the stupid mistakes... uggg. Hardly any year 12s in AUS have a car let alone their full license! (Hi guys, my name is Stupid) A random note: MY BIRTHDAY WAS ON THE 12****th**** OF MAY!!! Sorry for the slow update... On another point, I was listening to my IPod and I found the perfect songs for this story:**

**Collide – Howie Day (Because Bella and Edward **_**collide**_** and **_**even the best fall down sometimes**_**...)**

**The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you, yeah**

I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find you and I collide

I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression  
I've found I'm scared to know  
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time  
I somehow find you and I collide

Don't stop here  
I lost my place  
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find you and I collide

You finally find you and I collide  
You finally find you and I collide

**AND**

**Face down – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (because of the abuse factor in the story...)**

**Hey gi****rl you know you drive me crazy  
One look puts the rhythm in my hand.  
Still I'll never understand why you hang around  
I see what's going down.**

Cover up with make up in the mirror  
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again  
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man  
when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect  
every action in this world will bear a consequence  
If you wade around forever you will surely drown  
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,  
say your right again  
heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man  
when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
as your lies crumble down a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

One day she will tell you that she has had enough  
its coming round again.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

***sniff sniff***

"BELLA I COME HOME FROM A HARD DAY AT WORK ASKING YOU TO MAKE MY DINNER AND THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT?!" please no, no, no. _Please_, "COMING HOME LATE IS HOW YOU SHOW YOUR RESPECT TO ME?!" I completely lost track of time, "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!" His eyes were blazing with unexplainable hatred, he was advancing on me, daring me to challenge him.

"I-I-I'm s-sor-ry sir," I was hoping, praying that he wouldn't kill me tonight, I have never seen him so angry before. Usually he would advance on me for no reason, now he had one. He had a reason.

"SORRY?" He screamed, his face turning into a dangerous purple.

I closed my eyes.

The pain that came afterwards was unbearable.

"_Mummy why does daddy hurt you?" no matter how many times I asked the question I never got a straight answer_

"_I don't know honey but I promise we will get away one day. I'll take you some place far away and exotic somewhere where he can't find you and we'll be happy," her mascara was running with the tears that flooded her eyes._

"_RENEE!"_

"_Pray for me darling, pray for me," she placed a soft kiss on my forehead._

"_No mummy! Don't go! Please! He'll hurt you!"_

"Bella?" said a worried tone.

Charlie stopped in his tracks. Blood was streaming down my face and I was curled up on the ground in a ball, I wasn't crying; I was past tears.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!" Charlie was burning a hole with his eyes into the wall that was protecting Edward.

"Bella? Who is that?" he was getting closer.

"Edward go away he'll hurt you!" _ I said those words to my mother it's as if I was repeating my past. Don't do this to me, Edward. I don't want you to hurt me or to lose you._

"Bella I'm not going to leave here, until your safe and in my arms," there was this tone in his voice that I had never heard before.

"BE QUIET BOTH OF YOU!" Charlie yelled, effectively shutting both of us up, "I want you to listen to what I say. You behind the wall come and face me like a real man or you can go home and pretend this never happened."

Edward stepped out from the hallway, "I'm through with pretending," his eyes were this striking green. So many emotions were running through them, I could see anger, passion, hatred, disgust and many others.

"Well then, if you are so in love with my daughter you can watch her suffer," Edward's eyes blazed his hands clenched into tight angry fists, his knuckles threatening to break the skin.

"Step away from her," Edward's voice was low and dangerous.

Charlie broke into hysterical, maniac-like laughter. His eyes blazed almost as dark as Edward's but without the same amount of emotion.

I could see Edward's hand trailing into his pocket; luckily Charlie was too preoccupied to notice. "You think you can tell me what to do?"

Edward's eyes narrowed, he pulled his hand out of his pocket, it clenched into a tight fist. His knuckles went white.

"If you don't let her go now..."he trailed off.

"You'll what? Throw your diaper at me?"

"Let her go, now."

Charlie laughed at him and then started walking over to him like a Rottweiler slowly treads to his pray.

And as you thought that he was going to leap onto Edward and do a horrible dead he turned around and sung a fist at my head. I closed my eyes and scrunched my features waiting for the impact. I heard a loud collision, but the pain never came.

_I must be dead. He's finally done it._

"Bella?" A smooth, silky voice asked.

"I'm not dead aren't I?" I asked with my eyes still closed. _Maybe if I wish hard enough it will come true._ I was acting like a five year old.

"I wouldn't let that happen, you know that," he sighed.

I slowly opened my eyes.

There on the floor was Charlie. He was dead. There was no denying it.

"He's dead," I whispered, "He's dead."

**Yes I know this chapter was short but it was crucial... don't you think?**

**FINALLY HE IS GONE!!!! Woo!**

**Yes he is actually dead...**

**But has she overcome all of her demons?**

**xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**I think chapters are going to be coming slower now (SORRY) because I am writing 2 stories now! Yay for me. The other one is about how love comes in different forms and times and how it is never too late. Yes, I am a very romantic gal, and considering my experience in dating (zero...) you wouldn't expect that! My other story, **_**Fate and Life Changing Decisions**_** I'll see about that, don't get me wrong I have this whole plot going for it but I have to write it with my friend and that is coming along... er... **_**slowly**_**. Hehehe, sorry...**

**Keep reading (and maybe reviewing? I don't want to come across as pushy or annoying... but they make my day! I'm serious my life can get pretty boring...)**

**(In really cheesy soap opera voice) **_**"Previously on 'Angel in the Suffocating Black' Edward is not leaving and Charlie is dead (FINALLY!!!) what will happen next? Has Bella really gotten over all of her demons and will be able to let people in?"**_** (OMG! That actually sounds like a soapie!!)**

**Ooh! Gossip! Hehehe ahh... no. **

**In this story I'm gonna change a few police rules... like say... if you kill someone out of self defence then you don't have to go to jail... This is fictional so that means I can make up whatever I want, did you know pigs fly? Tell me if you want an EPOV!**

**Be prepared for some serious blood shedding in this chapter, weak stomach? DON'T READ.**

**Xoxo (luv ya! ... In a lovey-dovey mood... oh and there it goes... WEE! Mood swings! Fun. I hate you all... emo kid.)**

He was dead, finally spent. He lay there, wilted, on the floor, blood weeping from him chest, a knife promptly and sturdily pierced where his heart should have been, I don't he ever really had one.

Wait.

There was a knife is his chest.

How did it get there?

I didn't do it.

Edward.

Edward killed Charlie.

My I started to hyperventilate.

_Edward killed Charlie. Edward killed Charlie. Edward killed Charlie. _Edward _killed_ Charlie. _Edward killed _Charlie. Edward _killed Charlie. EDWARD KILLED CHARLIE._

My body went into automatic. _Danger, Edward was dangerous._

I slowly backed away from Edward who was intently staring at me, my chest heaving in and out.

"Bella? Are you ok?" he asked tenderly and slowly. I was sure that he could see the unambiguous **(A/N big word!) **horror in my eyes.

"Y-You k-k-kill-killed _him._" He had _killed_ a fully grown man in _one_ _swift_ movement. All my mind could think of was if Edward could bring Charlie down and Charlie had damaged me so ruthlessly every hours of darkness, _what could, what would, Edward do to me._

"Bella, it's ok. It's me, Edward. Calm down," his hand gradually reached out for me. He touched my hand. I recoiled. My back was pressed against the wall.

"Bella, please. He was going to hurt you I couldn't stand there and watch it. Hell, he was even going to hurt me. Please, don't be afraid. I could never imagine, no, I could never envisage doing such horrible, sadistic things to you."

I looked into his eyes. They were still that brilliant, vivid green that had encircled my dreams, not a horrific blood lusting crimson that had been plaguing my mind. The one that I had always whenever I missed my mother, feared my father, regretted Jacob, hated school. The same ones that would always instantly make me feel better. He was standing there in his signature clothing, that plain white t-shirt and those denim jeans that hung loosely on him yet were still fitted. This time only the shirt was encrusted in blood. His hair was the same extraordinary bronze, ruffled but silky. It was the same Edward that was constantly in my dreams. But was _that_ Edward the equivalent as Edward in real life? I looked into his eyes, searching for that one fixation that could divide him from anyone else.

Then I made a decision that could make or break me. **(A/N Man, it would have been brilliant to leave it there and finish the chapter)**

I slowly entwined my fingers in his and pressed my palm into his.

As soon as I reassured him with a half smile, telling him I wanted this.

He pulled me into a tight hug.

I could feel my knees buckling underneath me, he noticed too.

He picked me up bridal style and held me to close to his chest. I fisted his shirt into my hands and pushed my face into his collar bone. He just held me closer.

He took me out of the kitchen and into the living room. He sat down and sat me on his lap.

I curled up into a little ball and pressed my face into his neck.

I could smell him. It was the first time I had really focused on this aspect on him. He smelt... sweet and minty, but not in a girly way. It calmed me.

Then it hit me, just as my heart had finally settled to a normal, humanlike pace.

All of the emotions that I had kept bottled up inside me hit me; in one immense tidal wave, a tsunami.

I started viciously, violently shaking. My hands were shaking like small kitten left out in a storm over night that was suffering from hyperthermia would. I was so emotionally inundated **(A/N another big word! My English teacher would feel so proud...) **that I couldn't control my physical reaction.

Then after two years, the tears, that I thought I was past, came. I felt that suffocating black cloud my heart and then it turned into a dagger, shooting through my throat and then, it ruptured, into one immense sob.

"_Dad, where's mum?" my sixteen year old self asked my father, who was sitting there with a half empty bottle of vodka, he had just bought it._

"_She's dead," he looked at me with such hate and threat that I felt that I had killed her._

"_Dad! How could you?"_

"_You won't tell a soul though will you?"_

"_Oh no dad I'm gonna tell the cops, I know you did it. Why the hell am I even calling you dad? All you have ever done is yell at me and hit mum," his eyes widened, then narrowed, "Oh, yes. I know about that. We were going to leave you get away from you. What happened to the man that made my mother fall in love with him? Fallen to alcohol? Fallen to praying on the weaker? The younger? The helpless? How dare you? All she has ever done is love you and here you are now, sitting at the kitchen table, holding your own 'pity-party' for one with a bottle of vodka after KILLING HER! The town of Forks' well renowned policeman, Chief Swan, fallen to THAT! You cowardly, sadistic child!" I grabbed the phone and dialled 000. There was no dial tone._

"_You're not going to tell anyone and I'm going to make sure of that."_

_The anger disappeared and a new feeling raged through my body filling my veins._

_Fear._

_That is when he did it. He ripped off my shirt and chained me with his police issue hand cuffs to the dining table. Stuffed my mouth with my torn shirt and duck taped it around my mouth. Grabbed the kitchen knife and carved those two words. Telling me each stroke that he was doing, each letter as he did it. He told me as he was completing this masochistic task, what the meaning was behind these words, these scars. Whispering in my ear of how I would have this on my back for the rest of my life. Telling me that doing what he was doing now was as easy as cutting through butter._

_I dropped P.E. after that, I couldn't do any physical activities without breaking the wound and exploding with blood._

_That stopped me from dancing. I lost my balance and became clumsy. Children teased me for it, the older I got the worse it got. The more vulnerable I came, the worse it got._

_I ran away. For a two months._

_After the first week. I was hungry and weak. Desperate. A young man came my way. Told me he liked the way I looked, offered me a warm house, food. He said that he wanted to help such a beautiful person._

_I suppose my mother and I are the same in some ways. His name was Jacob and I let him in._

_He raped me._ **(A/N No I am not going to write about that.)**

_I had nowhere to go but back home. If you could call it that._

_So I went back, shamefully. Left many questions unanswered and took many beatings._

_I became the school freak, the easy target. No one talked to me unless they wanted to point out my flaws. If only they knew, that would make them shut-up._

That was all 18 months ago. Charlie carried on his beatings and I focused on my studies knowing that one day they will help me get out of here and move on.

"Bella," Edward interrupted my train of thought, "the police are here."

Then everything went black.

**OOOOOHHH!!!!!!!!!!!**

**So you've finally found out the tragedies that fill Bella Swan's life.**

**How is Edward going to take it? That is if you want me to write an EPOV....**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok, sorry it has taken me so long to post this up but I realised that I needed somewhere to take this story. And I have figured it out! (hence the new chapter) there is going to be a major twist in this story – well I hope so – and I am going to scrap the "all-human" stuff and introduce the rest of the Cullens... YAY. Yes, yes, I know, that is a give away, but I don't want to confuse you. :D as I tend to do to many people on a regular basis. ;) so now we take our scene into a hospital room... again...**

I woke up a week later.

Supposedly my mind had suffered so much trauma that it shut down. I don't feel any different though, it was like I was asleep.

I can remember this one dream I had, I dreamt that Edward had come and seen me in the hospital...

_He quietly walked into the room, I heard him walk over to the side of my bed._

"_Bella" I felt his hand brush a strand of hair out of my face and his thumb softly brush across my shut eyelids, the back of his hand momentarily rested on my cheek before removing it._

"_You've been-" he hesitated, "asleep for three days now and... well... I miss you," he took a deep breath._

"_The doctors say that if I talk to you, you might be able to remember it or hear me – and maybe even wake up..." he paused for a few seconds anticipating the moment that my eyelids would flutter open and I would look into his eyes and smile, "but one can only hope"_

"_While I had a moment to talk to you I thought that I might be able to voice a few of the thoughts that have been running through my head," he took my hand in his._

"_I-I feel... _attached_ to you, I don't know, that kinda sounds weird... I feel the need to- uggh, I don't know how to put it," he sighed._

_He was silent for a long time and I feel as though, if I would have been able to look at him then, a million different emotions would have passed through his face, as though he was having an internal battle with himself._

"_I suppose... no... I _know_... well... I'm falling for you" he took another one of those deep breaths._

"_Hard," he took in a shaky breath this time, as if he was crying, "and I don't want to have to leave you like they said I have to."_

But one can only hope.

There was a soft knock on my door.

"Bella?" when one speaks of the devil, he shall arrive.

"Edward, hi"

I looked up at him and immediately fell into his magnetic green orbs that he calls eyes. I felt like I hadn't seen him in an eternity.

"How are you feeling, I just heard that you woke up," he sat next to my hospital bed, and gently smiled at me.

"I'm ok I suppose, what are we going to do now? What is going to happen to us?"

His eyes fell down cast.

"Well, I had my trial the other day and I was let out on appeal and in self-defence. The doctors also evaluated your state and the things that you had gone through,"

He took my hand.

It felt warm, safe, I didn't want to remove it.

"They say that you would be suffering a mental condition, no-one truly believes that Charlie would do all of that stuff to you, because he has a massive impact on the police force and all. The only reason that I was let out was because the evidence so horribly pointed to the fact that it was self defence and also that I am still under the age of eighteen **(A/N Edward is turning 18 in a few months, seeing that he is in his last year of high school) **and also that my dad paid for a great lawyer, so they couldn't put me in jail for man-slaughter."

"Edward, you're getting sidetracked. What are they going to do to me?"

"They're going to put you in a mental asylum, and since you have no living relatives, it is going to be of the police's choice." **(A/N I sooo could have left it there!)**

"But they can't, I'm not crazy"

"Oh, but they can, you're leaving as soon as the doctors say you are fit enough."

"What am I? A threat to their government? I'm seventeen!"

"I know, I know, I tried to tell them, my dad tried to tell them, but they wouldn't listen. I came here to say good bye. Because the doctors said that you can leave as soon as I leave."

"Then don't leave,"

"I'm not going to, over my dead body. You are not going to leave me"

He held my hand tighter and stared into my eyes as though he was trying to tell me something. Convey his emotions to me through his eyes. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours.

"I also came here to tell you something,"

He looked at our hands, his fingers traced my knuckles.

"Yes Edward?"

"I-" he looked up from our hands, "love you"

He lifted up our hands and placed the softest of kisses onto my hand. His eyes never leaving mine.

"As do I" I replied so softly that I was almost uncertain that I said it.

He ran his nose along my wrist. Shuffled forward on the hospital bed and patted the space behind me.

He kicked of his shoes and slid behind me, his legs coming either side of me.

I rested my head in the crook of his neck and turned my body slightly to rest more comfortably.

Not once did his hand leave mine, instead he rested our joined hand on my waist.

His other hand brushed my hair out of my face and rested momentarily on my neck, his thumb trailed along my jaw line.

Then it move to under my chin and he lifted my head to look at his.

Two words fell from his lips, "May I?"

I nodded gently, too many emotions were running through my body to say anything.

Softly, as a feather caresses the ground when it falls, he placed his lips on mine.

And at the exact moment he did so, the door to my hospital room burst open.

"Miss Isabella Swan, it is time to leave"

But our lips did not part. My free hand moved to Edward's neck and I pressed my body closed to his.

His body responded and he clasped my hand tighter and kissed me with more passion, desperation, so many emotions were mixed in with what I was feeling from this one, single, kiss.

"Ma'am, you must leave now,"

I let go of Edward's hand and interlocked my fingers around his neck.

His hands clasped round my waist.

"Sir, let go of Miss Swan, or I will have to use force,"

But his voice was slowly, fading. The feel of Edward's lips was too overwhelming.

All of the sudden Edward was ripped away from me and I felt a sharp, quick pain in my arm, I turned to look where it came from. One of the doctors had put a needle in my arm.

I looked at Edward with wide eyes, he was being held back by two large policemen. He was wildly thrashing around trying escape their grasp.

"BELLA!" he looked at me, his neck craning.

"Don't forget me Edward," I said the power of the drugs overtaking me.

"No! Bella! Stay with me! Don't go to sleep, don't leave me..."

EPOV

I hadn't seen, heard, found, smelled, felt, Bella in a month now.

But I had dreamt of her.

Every night. Every, single, restless, night.

It was torture.

As soon as I thought about the way Bella's lips moulded with mine, I would have to run to the bathroom to lurch my guts out.

Pure, agonizing, untainted, excruciating, relentless pain.

Today I was going to do something about it.

I felt pure relief with my actions that one would consider excruciatingly painful.

I lay down on my bed blood pooling around me as I thought of the angel that captured my heart, soul and being.

From I distance I heard a scream.

BPOV

I screamed as they sprayed me with this ice cold, hard, jet of water from a hose.

Shock treatment, they called it.

By the time _they_ were finished my throat was burning with the amount of screaming I had done, my whole body was fiercely shacking with wild tremors, and I was sobbing so hard that I wanted to vomit.

_They_ threw me into a hospital gown and marched me into this room labelled _delusional_.

_They_ shoved me in and slammed the metal door behind me. I looked around. It was concrete. Concrete ceiling, walls and floor. With two beds on either side and nothing else. In one of the beds there was this tiny girl curled up into a ball, her hair was jet black and cropped short and uneven, spiking out in different directions. Her skin was pale and clammy.

A round of violent shivers passed through my body. My breathing started to pick up.

The girl looked over to me with these big violently blue eyes.

"Calm down and hop into bed, its warmer, and you don't want to get into trouble," she said in this chime like voice.

As soon as she spoke I wondered how someone so kind and non-threatening could be in here, but you never know.

I nodded and went over to the spare bed.

"I'm Alice by the way. Alice Mary Brandon,"

She said it as though it was a lifeline, something that she could never forget.

I felt the sudden urge to say my name. Over and over again.

_Isabella Marie Swan, Isabella Marie Swan, Isabella Marie Swan, Isabella Marie Swan, Isabella Marie Swan, Isabella..._

EPOV

"I'm sorry Mr and Mrs. Masen but it was too late to save him," too late to save me? But I can hear them. As clear as day.

I'm dead. I killed myself so that I could escape this world, get out of this horrible place. _Why am I still here?_

"I'm sorry, but you were too young to let to waste,"

Doctor Cullen?

**Dun, Dun, Duuunn... Yeah, sorry for the extremely long, long, long , long, long (etc) delay. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.**

**-love-**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone! I'm really excited because my Christmas holidays are coming up really, really soon!!!! So, just so you all know... I'm gonna be writing a story with a friend of mine – also known to you as '..boy'**

BPOV

I felt nothing else but winter. It surrounded me, haunted me as I tried to keep myself warm under the thin woollen blanket and my hospital-like gown. There was no sun, light or warmth in this room. I was caged in with these massive concrete walls, the ceiling and floor looked the exact same, like it never ended, an infinity of this deathly smooth dungeon. I looked at my bed, if you could call it that, it was an old fashioned hospital style bed, metal with railings, everything was normal except for the fact that the bed was nailed down to the floor and there were leather straps where you could, what I'm guessing, strap down a non-willing patient.

But the most sickening of all things was the blood stains left from past 'patients.'

My stomach started to churn.

"Relax, or you are going to throw up," said a quiet voice from the other side of the... cell.

"How did you know that?"

"I can see it in your face"

"Oh"

We fell silence. I hated the silence. I could hear the screams in the distance, not sure if it was my imagination or it was real.

"They called me a liar" Alice whispered, "I don't like the silence either"

"What?"

"I don't like the silence either"

"No, no before that," what did she mean?

"You were going to ask me how I got here, so I told you: 'they called me a liar.'"

"How did you know?"

"That's what they called me a liar for, but the funny thing is – is that I don't even know myself" through the tone of her voice I could tell that she didn't want to say anything else.

More silence came. The screams got louder.

"Please!" I said desperately, "keep on talking, I can't stand it"

"Calm down or you will never come back" the line didn't make sense but I knew anyway. If I go insane, I'll never come back to sanity. Well, not in here at least.

"What's your favourite colour?" I asked, the only thing that came to mind. But I didn't care – as long as it made the screaming go away.

"Pink, or anything bright and colourful. Lime green, electric blue, bubble gum purple, the list goes on," she said it like she would in any other situation, "what about you?"

My thoughts immediately went to Edward.

"Emerald green," I would give my soul to see him now, "or blue."

"Were his eyes really emerald green?"

I knew I hadn't mentioned anything about him. I knew that in some creepy way she knew everything. But I didn't care. All I cared about was the thought of never seeing him again. Never being able to be held and told that I was going to be happy one day. Never being able to tell him how much he means to me...

"Yes, when he was sad or angry – they would turn a dark forest green and when he was happy they would shine and all I could see were his eyes. When he would look at me, I couldn't look away. He could see right into my soul, and I his. They were the only things that kept me sane"

"I've never felt anything like that in my life. But I know it is out there. I can see it. He is waiting for me too."

"What colour are his eyes?"

"Gold"

"He sounds intriguing"

"Oh, but he is, everything about him, every molecule on his glorious body, speaks mystery and allure."

"Alice..."

"Ok, I suppose I was asking for it. I can see the future. I can't help it. I'm not mental. I can't turn it on and off. I'm not looking for attention. And I'm not lying."

There was a moment of silence again. This time I didn't hear the screams.

"I suppose it makes sense"

"Oh, Bella! We are going to be the best of friends!"

And I believed her. She seemed so out of place here in this dark dungeon. She was like a beacon of light. She was going to help me get out of here, and I her. Then we were going to find one green-eyed and another gold-eyed man.

The door started to open.

My breathing started to pick up.

"Don't worry. It's just Emmett"

EPOV

I was too young to waste?

Bullshit.

_Bella_ was too young to waste. She was too brilliant, too wonderful... too... I loved her _too_ much for her to go, there I said it!

"Edward," Carlisle said to regain my attention, "I need to tell you something."

I gave him my attention, although it didn't matter what he was going to say. Nothing mattered anymore.

"You're different now, Edward," he said. _"You want to constantly suck other people's blood and you have superpowers – that would be a very good place to start, Carlisle. Honestly, after all of these years you would have thought that it would have made it easier to tell someone that they are a vampire but no."_

"What do you mean I'm a vampire?" I asked. I had no clue what he was talking about.

"You know about us?" _"That. Or he could have... no... very unlikely."_ The man was crazy!

"No I don't. And what's very unlikely?"

"_Carlisle! You should know now that a lot of things are _very_ likely to happen! This is amazing! Just like Aro but without the touch... and I think that it is only present..."_

"What are you going on about? And can you please stop talking to yourself in front of me? I find it extremely rude! And confusing! I thought that doctors weren't supposed to be psychotic."

"I'm sorry Edward, I'm just shocked that's all," he said, trying to calm me down. _ "Might as well do it in my head... Edward, as I said, you're different. Look around you... can you see how your eyesight has improved?"_ I looked around, it was amazing. I could see every tiny, miniscule, detail of everything in the room. What kind of drugs do they give you in this hospital? _"Now use your other senses, smell, listen, feel."_ My whole sensory system in my body had improved impressively. What was going on? _"See how everything is clearer? Better?" _ I nodded. _"Now, feel for your heart." _ My eyebrows furrowed in response to his abnormal question, but I followed as he said anyway and placed my hand over where my heart is... or was? I couldn't feel my pulse, I tried other places, my neck, my wrist the back of my knee... nothing. I looked at Carlisle with wide eyes, I must be dreaming. _"Now hold your breath." _I did as I was told and held my breath waiting for that desperate need to pull another breath of oxygen into my lungs. I didn't come. I was defiantly dreaming. _"It's not a dream, not a joke, this is real – I am real."_

"Well then what is happening? What did you people do to me?"

"_Edward, you are a vampire."_

"What do you mean? They're not real! Why are you screwing with me? _**ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS DIE! IS THAT TOO HARD?**_"

"_Edward, I'm not 'screwing' with you. You need to calm down. Listen to me and try believing, I know you're smart Edward, is it that hard to see what is in front of you? The signs are obvious. You don't need to breathe, your senses are so powerful, as you will find later on you are incredibly strong too. Open your eyes and see."_

"You are lying. You sick freak! Why do you want to ridicule me further? I'M IN ENOUGH PAIN"

"_Edward! I do not lie. I have never lied. Now, I am trying to _help_ you. So you have two choices here. To not believe me, refuse my help, and leave to wander the rest of your life and realise that I was right all along. Or, you can open your eyes, stop this self pity, and accept what you are. I did not want to leave you to die when I knew in my heart that I could save you and that you could restart your life and fresh clean slate."_

But I didn't want a fresh slate. All I wanted was Bella.

"_So what are you going to do?"_

"What do I have to lose?"

**So... Edward is a vamp. Did you like Carlisle's inner-mind-ramblings? Was it too light and happy with Bella and Alice's chat? Should I make them more emo at the moment? Or is it good? Please tell me :D**


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